Grace

Grace manages to go entirely against my humanity, everything that my body and mind have known and fought for. Yet, at the same time it manages to answer every longing that my soul has ever had that I never knew was there. To be honest, it has produced an all out war within me. Because when I come in contact with grace I am all at once: broken by my own humanity, fighting to preserve my selfish desires, heartbroken by the pain of God's neglected children, restored by God's power to cover my failures, compelled to dispense grace to the unloved around the world, and at a loss with size of the need and the inadequacy of my abilities. Talk about an emotional conflict.

We hear about grace all the time, what is it that has ruined me now, over 20 years later? I suppose it's the true and neglected identity of grace that I have always ignored. And where, exactly would someone find such grace? Well, the interesting thing is that its in odd places, the unfortunate thing is that it's missing from most churches. A good indication of why it took me 20 years to encounter it. Another good indication of why I have no idea what to do with it. Christians, the supposed "purveyors of grace." The United States, the supposed "Christian Nation" of the world. If we were true to our name, would not the nation be set on fire by brokeness and restoration? Instead I watch as the christians of this nation deal out broken-grace and seperation. Have we "kept our families safe" or have we missed the mark when the homeless, the orphaned, and the addicted feel estranged from "the body". Have we sought after "our best life now" or have we forgotten to be the hands and feet to the sick and dying when we seek after vacation homes, pay increases, and new cars. Perhaps we are blind to grace because as the years go on people are no longer people. They are "a"'s or "the"'s. It's hard to give grace to inanimate objects, I don't feel compassion for my lamp the same as you don't feel compassion for your table. If the objects moved would this incite sentiment on our part? Not likely...it's not the lack of movement that defines an object, the object earns its title as an object simply because it will never be like me. "a" bum, or "a" whore, is as close to being me as my lamp is. In the opposite spectrum, this is why 9/11 was so powerful. You had an entire nation of differences, but within 10 minutes every single person in this nation had one thing in common: we were all under attack and our freedom was at stake. I could be them and they could be me because we were all going through the same thing, it was us against them. And as a result; an outpour of unity and brotherhood. Once again in the opposite spectrum, the terrorists were terrorists and we were Americans, we could never be them and they could never be us. And as a result; hatred for the entire nation of Iraq. If Suddam Hussein had been born in America and his name was John...well that would be a different story.

This reality has been made even more personal for me with the birth of my niece Alyssa. Currently, she's a little over a year and a half and she is the most fantastic person I know. She's beautiful, hilarious, loving, and seemingly untouched by the worlds imperfections. Then one day I realized she would grow up and someone somewhere would hate her, some guy might use her, some kid might offer her drugs, some girl may tell her that to get attention she needs to wear revealing clothes, who knows. One thing is for certain though...the world will corrupt her, and sin will entangle her, and as a result she will make decisions that ruin her innocence and turn others against her. Will that change the way I love her? Not a chance, because I watched her grow, I know she's just like me. I know that she's human and that like me, there are certain things she struggles with because of what she's gone through in life. And if she ended up on the streets, would she become just "a bum" or "a whore". No her name would still be Alyssa and I would fight like hell to save her. Because I would know that no matter what mess she's made of her life, she'll need rescuing just like I did. She'll need grace to break her and give her a second chance. She'll need redemption.

And of the billions of people around the world who have made a mess of their lives, will I happen to know the only one who deserves redemption? Will I happen to know the only one who started out as pure and beautiful?

No.

Because whether their name is Alyssa, or Saddam, or they've forgotten their own name because they've been labeled as something else for too long...they all started out as someone's daughter or son, as someones best friend, as a brother or sister or niece or nephew. But most importantly they have always been and always will be God's child. They're all loved by God and they all have a deep seeded desire to know his love now. Should we, as purveyors of grace, go to such great lengths to avoid and cringe at God's beautiful disasters? Or should we, as the beautifully restored disasters that we are, run full force at picking them up, dusting them off, and returning them to their maker?

They will never be, "a" bum, "a" whore, "a" homosexual, "a" drug addict, or "a" baby killer in God's eyes. Because they are His children and he can't see past that. Do you remember how it felt the first time when you found out God loved you? Can you recall the depth of your gratitude everytime He lovingly reminds you of that? Is there an instance where someone else portrayed Christ to you by loving you, forgiving you, or meeting a need you had?

Do those that we have labeled deserve the same?